The Fuckway

Every time I get on the subway, there is one constant thought circulating my mind. "Fuck, I hope a hot chick sits next to me." For one thing, sitting beside a girl on the subway is basically the closest I come to intimacy with a woman these days. Now, 9 times out of 10 I get some big lug who makes me feel wafer thin. But not today, today was my lucky day.

Not one, not two, but THREE hot women sat around me on the subway. Holy shit, I felt like a Latino heartthrob oozing withs machismo.

The first girl made eye contact with me and then chose to sat closeby. She was definitely into me. She was totally my type. Thin, young, black hair, pale skin, glasses, dorky plaid pants.

The second girl sat between me and my new girlfriend immediately driving a wedge between us. She was totally my type. Thin, young, blonde hair, a little upscale, high maintenance kind of girl.

The third girl sat directly next to me, she was best described as a "hot tamale". She was totally my type. Thin, young, Latin, black hair, low cut shirt.

Now I didn't immediately begin considering which of the three girls I'd have sex with first, my first thought was "Oh good, I don't resemble an Ogre so much so that women won't sit next to me." I have to take all the small victories in my life that I can.

My second thought though was of course; "Okay, of these three cute girls, which is the one I would have sex with." But in my mind, I can't simply accept that I would just be having sex with one of them, I can't jump in my mind directly to throwing her over the TTC seat, not caring about how unpleasant that red fuzz of the TTC seats are on her knees (Just THINK about it, it'dbe itchy as hell!). No, I have to have the scenario for why these three female strangers would be inclined to have sex with me. My mind refuses to tell my penis that a woman would not just be attracted to me, and want me for the sake of having me, but instead there has to be a specific reason she doing this, call it an ulterior motive if you want. Sometimes, it's because I have a lot of money, sometimes it's I've abducted the girl's boyfriend and if she ever wants to see her boyfriend again she must mouthify my wang as I chuckle and sometimes, though very rarely, it's because the girl actually loves me (Haha, just kidding about that last one.).

Anyway, today the best scenario I could conjure up on short notice that any of these girls would have anything to do with my wiener (besides the dorky girl, she genuinely wanted The Fostar (that's my name for my penis, by the way)) was that an evil time-traveling Nazi named Barbarossa was going to hijack the specific subway car me and my ladies were on and pick me as the one to propagate a new super race of Nazi super-men (In my defense, I do have blonde hair and blue eyes, so I'm basically the prototypical male) Of course, I don't want to have to have sex with these girls (well, I do, but my scenario is layered with such thought-provoking nuance that even though I want to, I don't want to under these circumstances), but if I don't the evil Nazi will clobber them or something, I dunno, I never asked or cared in my fantasy, I think I was secretly Pro-Nazi. But I made sure to tell the girls "Don't worry, you'll enjoy this too." And then I'd wink and grin. It's at that point the girl would recoil, at that moment truly realizing what a horrifying situation she had found herself in. Even in my fantasies I'm a fucking creep, I try and keep my fantasies grounded with a hint of reality.

But like all good things, my subway romance came to an end at Spadina station. I made eye contact with the dorky girl one last time as I left the car, hopefully that she'd blurt out her MSN name or Blackberry PIN, too turned on as I lumbered out of the subway car not to say something. Somehow she had the will power to resist, she must have had a boyfriend or something, and that's cool too I guess. Good for her, seriously, I'm happy.

So at this point you're probably surprised to learn I've reached this level of patheticness (Well, I'm sure that some of you were already are well aware). To truly put things in perspective for you, picture one of those three girls, probably at work or school right now, happily having a mid-afternoon snack or texting with their boyfriend on the ole' iPhone, totally unaware of the fact that the 6'0, 220 pound dimwit who apparently had a breathing problem that they sat next to this morning has just written a note detailing his thoughts of fucking them. Poor girls.

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield

Last year I had decided I wanted to go back to school.

But did I?

Nopers.

Here's the scoop. I wanted to take continuing education courses at Ryerson. My friend Lisa has attended classes there for several years and now works there so occasionally I'll visit the main building (the one next to the Eaton Centre) and it does seem like a really great place.

But I'd just missed the enrollment deadline and I sort of forgot about it by the time the fall and winter registrations rolled around. So I dropped by the Ryerson CE website today and summer registration begins on February 23. I'll be spending the next one and a half weeks deciding what to take.

I've narrowed it down to a Media program or a random History course.

Specifically, I want to begin a series of what would be 7 writing based courses that would eventually grant me a Certificate in Media Writing Fundamentals. It would take me at least a year to get, but at the end I'd have a handy dandy piece of paper showing that I am capable of writing for several different mediums including radio, animation, factual programs (docs, reality tv), comedy, etc.

As for the history course, it'd pretty much be a throw of the dice. The Fall of Rome, the Holy Crusades, The American Civil War, I don't care. I love it all.

I shouldn't make it seem like I have a Sophie's choice to make, as I've written this blog I basically convinced myself what to do, to go for the Media certificate. I was hoping writing it out would help me come to the right answer, so yay, thanks Blog!

Basically, the media courses could really help me with different employment opportunities in the future whereas the history ones are just for fun. I supposed that's really the only point worth considering. Furthermore, I might be lucky enough that my current employer Nextfilm would give me a few bucks to put towards the courses. From their point of view, cultivating a new talent? I dunno, just gimme some money!

Looking at it on the big canvas that is my life, I'd really love to get into the habit of just taking a weekly course every semester or two for the rest of my life, for example, maybe I won't take the History of the Third Reich or Gothic Horror course this summer...but definitely one day. As a lot of you know, I'm fairly anti-social, I don't go to bars (I have some wonderful friends who meet every Tuesday night just 15 minutes away and I never go cause well, I'm anti-social), I really only ever go out to movies or comedy shows so as geeky as it is, going to school part-time would probably be my best bet at meeting some great new people...that I can also ignore!

Thanks for reading!

I'm posting some of the ideas I had for posts I'd like to make, stuff I will hopefully get around to over the coming weeks. I'm not really posting this to tantalize you or tease you, "OH MY GOD, I HAVE to read Sean's World of Warcraft blog." but more to remind myself before I forget. I'm kind of a dimwit.

- Romantic Misadventures. Some thoughts about women I want to get off my chest...Mostly related to a specific girl I was spending a lot of time with until a couple of weeks ago.

- Filmography. A retrospective on my limited, unimpressive catalogue of films I've worked on.

- Screenwriting. I'd like to share some of the various ideas I've had bouncing around my head for a couple of years now for stories I'd like to write or in some cases, finally finish.

- World of Warcraft. My on again, off again relationship for over 4 years now. And it's been a love/hate relationship, with more angst than all of the real relationships I've ever been in.

- Howard Stern/Opie & Anthony, etc. My love of talk radio/podcasts and how I went from a Stern fan to an O&A pest.

- Being a Creep on Facebook/Twitter. Why I enjoy following celebrities on social networking sites.

- Movie/TV Reviews. I'd like to start posting at least a couple of thoughts on every movie or tv show I watch. I'll probably bat at a few right away and review some of the movies I've seen so far in 2009, Underworld 3, Uninvited, Unborn, various other movies that begin with "Un"

- And I'm sure more will come to mind as time goes on.

Worth thinking about

I'm thinking of starting my own little blog, just a daily rant, thought or cheeky observation. I don't want to bother everyone on Facebook with this stuff, I don't want to be the douche who writes who posts a new note everyday so I'd like to make it my own private corner, you have to be somewhat amused by my particular brand of bullshit to come here. If you drop by and don't like what I've written, just don't come back!

It's been fun being more expressive on Twitter with what I am up to and what I am thinking, so I thought I'd come here and do a bit more of that.

I have no alluisions, I don't expect lots of comments or anything. I just want to have a forum to get thoughts off my chest and have a bit more freedom than the 140 characters Twitter allows you.

No punny little name for the blog, just Sean Foster cause that will me the main attraction here. Just my musings and other assorted bullshit.