Top 5 Random Things On My Mind

1) One of the most common occurrences in my day-to-day life is someone will say "Logan?" I will turn around, flash a grin and say "Sorry mate, but no, I am not popular comic book character Wolverine."

All I can do is shake my head and laugh heartily, y'see, I am often mistaken for Wolverine (he is the one with the claws). You may have thought about me shortly after watching one of Wolverine's 4 big screen outings and thought to yourself "My goodness, does the Wolverine walk amongst us?" I'm not saying you phrased it exactly like that, but something along those lines? Fucking definitely.

I just want to take a moment and clarify I am not Wolverine.

Admittedly, the comic book hero and I do have a lot in common, despite having a couple of key differences. We are both Canadian, we are both men, we both have balls of steel, we both first appeared in The Incredible Hulk issue 181, we have both romanced women who later faked their own deaths as part of an elaborate covert government initiative to steal our powers and use them for their own gain. (Seriously, ask me about that sometime - it's a doozy)

There are key differences though. I was not born in the 19th century. No, I wasn't. I also never fought in the American Civil War on the side of the north, I was not a doughboy in World War I, I did not storm the shores of Normandy and watch as my brother scaled German entrenchments with the agility of a cat and I did not fight in Veitcong in the Vietnam conflict.

Oh, and I do not have adamantium claws bound to my skeletal structure. Don't be fucking silly.

2) I watched some televisions show I don't ordinarily watch last night. I watched some Gossip Girl, Dancing With the Stars, How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory.

These shows helped me come to an important conclusion: The TV shows I don't watch are fucking horrendous.

Seriously, thank you to the producers, writers and actors of these awful shows for helping me appreciate how great Lost, Supernatural, Party Down and 30 Rock are. And I applaud myself for having such excellent taste in television programming.

Gossip Girl especially seemed embarrassingly bad. I try not to be too much of a film/tv snob these days but seriously, fans of this show have to know it's terrible, right? It's like a guilty pleasure show, amirite?

One thing regarding How I Met Your Mother...So the conceit of the show is that the main character is telling the story to his kid(s) about their mom and him getting together... They are 4 or 5 seasons into this show, at this point wouldn't the kids be like "Dad, seriously, what is with this 50 hour preamble, why are you telling me about girls you hooked up with 4 years before you met mom? What does the gay guy who has been with 200 girls have to do with anything? Dad, is this all a long, convoluted way of telling us we're adopted?"

3) People on Message Boards are retards. So the Transformers 2 trailer comes out, THE SHOT of the trailer is of Megan Fox in tiny shorts, shorts so short they shouldn't even be classified as shorts, perhaps bikini bottoms or simply panties would be a more appropriate description, straddling a motorcycle. Every guy with an ounce of machismo is drooling over this shot. And of course in every message board discussion of this trailer there has to be one cool guy who chimes in "Bah! She's okay at best. Average girl. Homely, really." Fuck off, fucko.

I understand a woman not being your type but to brush her off as average, holy shit, what town do these assholes live in? Most women in movies look nothing like the women I know, Megan Fox looks like she is a member of a different species, a species I like better then the strain of women I got stuck with here in Toronto.

4) People are ninnies, offended way too easily. More and more often lately I will make a racist, sexist, homophobic or religious joke and draw the ire of whoever I am talking to. "Sean, that is seriously not cool." "You can't say that!" "I had no idea you were a racist."

More and more often I find myself in a position of having to arguing that I am not a bad person for chuckling at a mean spirited or "blue" joke.

It particularly frustrates me when people I know very well take offense, I hoped friends of mine would know by now that I have no particular malice toward any one group of people - I am an equal opportunity hater - I just happen to find mean spirited humor particularly funny. It's both a blessing and a curse, but I truly think nothing is off limits when it comes to comedy, nothing is sacred. And I really dislike the notion that because I can find an unpleasant concept funny that I am somehow a bad person or a supporter of some ugly ideology. Go fuck yourself up your politically correct ass. Everybody on this planet is a dumbass worthy of a little ribbing.

I'm reasonably sure you could throw any political ideology at me, any notion or concept about humanity at me, warts and all, and I wouldn't get angry at you for having an idea or opinion. "You like Stephen Harper and I don't, grumble, grumble, grumble!" Shaddup.

Or maybe I just don't care about stuff the way I am supposed to. Either way I would contend that I am the superior person.

Really the only people who can anger me with things that they say are people I know who are trying to get under my skin. For example if an ex-girlfriend were to tell me that she used to fuck other guys while we were going out, that would piss me off. Like if she said "I used to have this guy pull out while he was fucking me and blow his load on my genitals (And I'd be thinking she calls her vagina 'genitals', why?!) and then vigorously rub the remnants into my mound and then come see you immediately after and have you go down on me." I would of course be taken aback by this and say "That seems like a very malicious thing to do to me!" And she says "Fuck you!" and jams her fist threateningly into my face. What I'm trying to say is that I am unable to forge healthy social relationships with women.

That scenario never happened to me by the way, purely fantasy. I meant hypothetically.

5) I am a shitty blog writer.